Holy crap. Just weighed myself and I’ve already lost 17 pounds, folks.

Yes, I am bragging.

So, here’s the labor story you’ve all been waiting for…

As you know, Wednesday I was back in the hospital for another round of Cytotec.  It got the contractions moving along nicely all day. I was 100% effaced and had dilated up to 3cm by evening! My doctor kept me for the night to watch for more developments. In the morning they would be breaking my water if it hadn’t already broke in the night, and we could expect Marco soon!

Wednesday evening we spent trying to keep relaxed; all the contractions were now in my lower back and becoming more painful. Thursday morning I took a shower and brushed my teeth, and by 8:00am, Dr. Henry was back to break my water and give me some more Cytotec. Unfortunately for me, the combination made the contractions so strong and painful that I could just barely keep it together. We tried all kinds of techniques to get Marco to release my sciatic nerve, but he was facing up and his skull just crushed it. I tried to get back in the shower, hoping the warm water would help with some of the pain, but I almost pulled the towel racks off the wall during my contractions. No good.

I was hungry too, and wondering why the breakfast I’d ordered hadn’t come in yet. Finally, I asked the nurse to check, and she informed me that even if she called, it would be too late for me to eat it. With the epidural, I would be on a clear-liquid diet (ice chips, water and jell-o!), and she’d just called the anesthesiologist to come and help with my pain (woo-hoo!!).  SHE WAS AWESOME. I loved her. She explained in exacting detail everything she was doing. The contractions were more painful than inserting the epidural, sadly! I was put on a good drip dosage, and given a fun little button to push in case I needed some extra meds to get through the pain. I only used it a few times, and in fact it was pushed for me by the nurses and my midwife more!

I stayed in bed all day, but couldn’t sleep. I hadn’t slept more than a few hours the night before, so was really exhausted; just too keyed up and anxious to take a nap. Finally, at 5:30 I was 10cm dilated and ready to push my little baby out! I was so happy to learn that I had made it! My mom, sister and Christopher (closest person I have to a father) had been pacing anxiously in the waiting room all day, so it was wonderful to give them the good news!  I was even more thrilled when I learned that Sue, my midwife, was on call that evening to deliver! I really liked Dr Henry and Dr Geary, but I love Sue…she’s simply amazing.

When she made it there, she informed me that Marco still hadn’t turned the right way (he was still facing up) and we’d need to do a lot of extra work to get him to move. I pushed for 2 hours, and by 9pm he was further along the canal but stubbornly refusing to change positions. He was stuck, and Dr. Henry would need to come in with the forceps. He’s actually one of the foremost-experts on using this tool, and had developed some techniques of his own (luckily!).  Sue would still be there to help talk me through the pushing. Up until then, I’d been able to talk calmly in between the contractions and pushing, so was not too miserable; once the forceps came into play, not so much the case. It was so uncomfortable it was bordering on painful, and it took another 45 minutes of pushing before my baby made his way into the world.  Dr. Henry is a big believer in having the dads help with the delivery (as long as I was comfortable), so once the head was through, Tim got to sit in the chair and help guide Marco out.

Then he was handed to me. OH. MY. GOD. I have never in my life felt so overwhelmed. He’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. I cried a lot, and couldn’t stop staring at him! He cried for a couple of minutes, and then he just stared back at me, and listened to me talking to him. I loved it! Tim cut the umbilical cord, and we just couldn’t believe how gorgeous our baby was! I expected him to look goofy, but he was already perfect. TMI TIMEUnfortunately, he was also huge, and I’d had to have an episiotomy during the last part of pushing to get him out. Even more unfortunate, once he fully crowned, the small cut ripped further down. TMI TMI TMI – I APOLOGIZE!

They took Marco to do a quick measurement check, and he came in at 8lbs, 6.4 oz and 21 1/2 inches in length. How did he fit in my body? I’m only 5’3″! I’d come into labor with a total weight gain of 23lbs – turns out it was mostly Marco!

Finally I was able to rest and let my family come in to see him. My lovely friend Adrienne had been anxious to come up, so she’d been waiting with my family as well.  Everyone noticed how beautiful and perfect my baby was (how could you not!?), and we decided that he looks like Tim. He has my eyelashes and, so far, my hair color. Otherwise, it’s all Timmy.

I couldn’t sleep at all that night. I stared at Marco and Tim all night long. I was so happy I couldn’t stop crying and smiling.

Go HERE for a quick video we took after Marco was born (nothing graphic or crazy in the video, don’t worry).

My baby boy is here! He was born last night at 9:27pm, and he measures 21 1/2 inches long! He weighed in at 8lbs 6.4oz – a much bigger boy than was expecting! We don’t have our pictures uploaded yet, but I will post them later today. Marco is so beautiful…I have never seen a more gorgeous baby boy. I spent a good part of last night staring at him, and listening to him breathe; I am so exhausted but I couldn’t sleep, I was too keyed up.

I will post pictures and deets on the labor later. Off to stare at Marco some more!

Today has been equal parts rough and flippin’ amazing. Weird how that works, eh?

First, the rough part: I was sent to the hospital by my midwife today for some observations. I had called her this morning because my contractions had inexplicably stopped for almost 5 hours between late last night and early this morning! I also wanted to find out that they were for SURE inducing me on Monday if Marco hadn’t made his debut this weekend. I’m simply too miserable to make it much further, and I’ll be 39 weeks then. Anyway, during the NST and ultrasound, they said everything with Marco looks good, but they don’t know why my contractions had slowed down. They are DEFINITELY stronger, and are measuring in the triple digits on their tension monitor; but they are nowhere near as close together as they have been in the past month. I was also told that I hadn’t dilated or effaced anymore than I was on Wednesday (1 cm and 50%), but Marco is dropping. Because I’m not dilating, they don’t want to do a full-on inducement, and they don’t think he’ll come in the next few days. On Wednesday I’d been told just the opposite! It certaintly made things difficult, and I kind of broke down in the hospital.

I talked to my doctor, and we’re embarking on a middle-ground approach. On Monday I will be going into the hospital and given a pill (I don’t remember the name of it, but it’s less harsh than Pitocin). I will then be monitored for 4 hours to see if it brings about the contractions, hopefully 4-5 minutes apart, which will then ripen my cervix. If this works, then I could be a day or two from delivery. If, after the 4 hour period, it has not done its job, I will go home, rest, and come back on Wednesday to try again. This approach is less stressful on my body, and will not require me to stay the night at the hospital unless I am actually in labor. I hope that it works; I know that with Pitocin there is a higher chance of C-section, which I would like to avoid (if possible).

On the amazing side, we have the fact that it’s my 5 year wedding anniversary! Yay for Mr. & Mrs. Timothy Dickson. Tim always gives me the best cards, and writes things that make my heart ache; I love receiving cards from him. This year, however, he also did something so awesome and lover-ly that I can’t stop smiling:

UMM YEAH. This ring is the most beautiful ring in the entire world. Tim and I had talked about a ring upgrade for the future, and this ring and wedding band set is exactly the way I’d always imagined my ring to look: a little art-deco and vintage-y. We’d looked at it several times in the past at Napa Valley Jewelers, and I’d half-jokingly mentioned he should get it for me for a ‘push present’. We hadn’t talked about it since things started to get crazy with my pregnancy, so I was definitely surprised! Last night, before we went to sleep he told me that he got it for me; tonight, he made a beautiful dessert presentation (complete with flowers and a fruit tart)! I am truly the luckiest wife in the world, to have such a wonderful and loving husband.

As my readers have probably learned by now, I’m almost never completely certain of anything. Every situation sparks 2000 questions – sometimes even the most mundane, simple-sounding scenario has the potential to cause a presidential-scale debate in my head.

There is something, however, that I’ve never questioned: the amazingness that is my husband. I’ve had plenty of other questions over the years, and there have been some comparisons to Hugh Laurie (ha ha). But I have never had a moment’s doubt as to how intelligent, kind, loving and wonderful a person he is. I’ve always known it. I know that I am probably the luckiest person alive, because he loves me. Tim Dickson loves me me me. That fact continues to astound me (and probably others, as well), and here we are, 7 years into our relationship and 5 years into our marriage (as of tomorrow!). Holy crap, he still loves me. I’ve been told countless times (in the past two days alone, nevermind the number of times he’s said it over the years!) that he’ll love me for as long as he’s breathing and even after. YEAH – YOU KNOW YOU”RE JEALOUS. I’m jealous of myself!

Further, as much as I worry about my abilities as a mother, I don’t have a doubt as to how well Tim will perform as a father. He’ll always find time to cuddle with Marco. Marco will never want for food, shelter, clothes or books. Tim will tell him every single day how much he loves him, and will teach him everything he knows. If Marco decides he wants to be an artist, Tim would make him an easel (it might lean a little, but it’ll stand up). Tim will make him grilled cheese sandwiches EXACTLY the way Marco likes them, and if by chance it has burned edges, he’ll make him another one. When Tim comes home from a hectic day at work, he won’t be too tired to wrestle or play hide-and-seek with Marco (Stabler can vouch for him on this one).

My excitement level for this baby to arrive has been, quite honestly, very low… I want him be here, but mostly because I am tired of being pregnant. I admit, though, I cannot wait to see Tim hold Marco for the first time. That is something I look forward to, and hope that it will be soon.

I love you, Timothy Ryan Dickson.

THIS lady

  and THIS lady

I love you both to a million itty-bitty pieces. Reese’s Pieces, even – and you know I love peanut butter.

My baby shower was last Saturday, but I don’t have any pictures from it just yet; I will post them when I do. Everyone was so generous, and I enjoyed the day immensely! Love and hugs to Micaela, Adrienne, Monica (‘other mom’!) and my Mama for planning and executing the shower! xoxoxo

I do, however, have a picture of Marco’s pirate booty:

OMG, stuff. Every one of those boxes and bags are filled with items for Marco. He’s a lucky boy.

The adorable onesies that the guests painted for Marco The box in the upper-right corner is filled with books! Each guest brought Marco a book, so we can build up his collection.

At any given time, I’ll have about 40 different topics swirling around in my head, all vying for prime space in my brain’s receptors. All this jostling and shoving around can sometimes throw the important stuff into the background where it may remain for several hours, or even several days! This is one of the reasons I enjoy lists. I make lists for almost everything. Groceries needed, household chores needing to be done, books I’ve read, books to be read, people I’m not speaking to (KIDDING! Although, Stephen Colbert’s ‘On Notice’ board isn’t a bad idea — I’m looking at YOU, mean woman from a certain winery!!)… Anyway, this blog post is going to be a little like one of my lists. Slightly random and probably completely unhelpful to anyone other than myself.

-Tim is the loveliest husband. Example: He removed the chipped nail polish from my toes the other day because I couldn’t reach them very easily, and he HATES the smell of polish remover. He offered to help me paint them too, but I was kind and told him I’d keep them plain for now.  Further cementing his place in the ‘Awesome’ category: when we take showers, he always angles the shower head around my back so that the warmth can get through to my muscles; he runs out to get me veggie sandwiches even when he’s tired (and I don’t even have to ask!), and he not only tolerates my fussiness over picking the right shoe for the outfit – he’ll go through my stacks of shoe boxes and offer ideas (and funny justifications for polka dot espadrilles!) when I’m frazzled!  Tim’s also a faithful reader of my blog (how sweet is that!?) and I know this post will make him blush a lot little – sorry, hubby!

-I’m really having fun with this Richard Doyle’s FairyLand coloring book. I grabbed some colored pencils and am enjoying picking out my colors for each character and shape. I also have this coloring book arriving today or tomorrow from Amazon, and I’m looking forward to shaving off a few hours of my day with some scribbles.

-Haven’t seen anything more hilarious/oddly adorable than Hugh Laurie saying the word ‘Ba-donka-donk’ in his charming British accent. Check it out at the 1:59 mark

-Just finished reading The 19th Wife by David Ebershoff.  Also, Tim and I are finishing up Season 1 of ‘Mad Men’. What do they have in common? They’ve both got me thinking about how far women have come, in terms of our place in society. Do we still have far to go? Of course – we’re leaps and bounds away from true equal footing with men. BUT, in consideration of where we’ve been, I think it’s fair to say that our roles in the lives of our husbands/boyfriends/lovers have grown into real partnerships; and, I do also think it’s fair to say that some (NOT ALL) of the ‘imbalances’ today are probably more our own fault than we women would like to admit. One more note about Tim – bear with me! – watching ‘Mad Men’ has made him positively indignant about the way the men in the show treat their female co-workers and wives. I love him even more when he goes on a rant about it.

-Tomorrow I have another appointment at the OB office (2 in one week!). I’m having another fetal fibronectin test, and the unfortunate news is that I think the labwork has to be sent out, so I may not find out the results until next week.

-Need to remind Tim to pick up more Pink Lady apples. I <3 them.

-I’m really excited to see the pictures from our maternity photo session. The shoot was yesterday evening, (yes, I know I’m supposed to stay at home; but I wanted to make sure we had this done BEFORE Marco showed up!) and our photographer, Suzanne Becker Bronk, was great!  There was a little bit of a rough spot when a winery worker yelled at us for being on the property after hours (the gates were still open and it hadn’t quite closed yet when we arrived), and then drove down the road and proceeded to LOCK US IN. She saw that I was pregnant, knew we’d arrived on foot, and even after speaking to us she still locked us in. The three of us had to climb over a few rocks and onto a bridge (with a small creek below) in order to get back out to our cars. Apparently the woman couldn’t wait the 5 minutes for us to walk to the gate behind her truck. I was wearing 4 1/2″ heels, for cryin’ out loud! Don’t worry, they were one of my most comfortable heels – but she couldn’t have known that!

-I’m becoming more and more excited about my baby showers – and a lot of that has to do with the all the yummy food that’s set to appear. Is that sad? Probably. Will I be stuffing my face? OH YES.

I told you my grey matter was disorganized!