Currently finishing up This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper. It’s well-written, but not very funny (and for a book lauded as ‘hysterically funny’, that’s a problem).

My hubby’s 28th birthday is on Friday! I love birthdays. On Saturday, we’re having some friends and family over for a BBQ to celebrate. Gotta do a deep cleaning on the house!

On the baby front, Marco is sleeping SO much better! He falls asleep after his last evening feeding, usually at 10pm and doesn’t wake up until around 4:30am, sometimes later! I am so thankful that we started him on a schedule right away; his feedings are like clockwork now.  Marco is also smiling all the time! I love seeing his little gummy grin.  He’s cooing a lot, trying to communicate.  So cute.

On Sunday, Tim and I saw this license plate:

THIEF!! My nickname as a little kid was ‘Mad’, Marco’s full initials are ‘M.A.D.’ and we both are M.D. This should belong to us! Grr…

Today we took a walk to the post office, and then headed to Starbucks. He fell asleep on the way, as usual! I can’t get him to stay awake very long when he’s in his car seat /stroller. Too comfy, I guess!

He’s just too beautiful!

What a strange, sad, crazy week this has been!

First, we had one of the worst ‘sleep weeks’ with Marco…between Thursday afternoon and Friday evening, he hadn’t slept a longer stretch than 1 1/2 hours, and most of the time he was awake, fussing. It was miserable!  Then, Tim had to work through Thursday night, because of an issue with a server. I was home alone with Marco almost all night.

Friday was Adrienne’s birthday, and we’d made plans to have lunch in St Helena with them. I’d had to cancel because Tim was ridiculously exhausted, and Marco was in no condition to go out in public. Later in the afternoon, we heard from Adrienne and Justin…they returned home from their vacation to find they’d been robbed! Someone had broken into their home and stolen almost everything of value. Tim and I decided to drive down and visit them, and make sure they were okay.  The thieves left all of the important paperwork (birth certificates, social security cards) so at the very least, they don’t have to worry about identity theft. 

 Yesterday, I found out that an old friend from high school, Isaiah, had passed away a few days ago. I was very sad to hear about it; I’d really had no idea the extent of his illness. Isaiah had Type 1 Diabetes, but I’d always assumed it was pretty well under control.  He was always such a good friend during our high school years, and though I hadn’t seen him since we graduated, we’d maintained friendly communication (thanks, Facebook). Anyway, it was definitely a bit of a shock. I am holding his wife and 5 month-old daughter in my thoughts.

Here’s hoping this week is much better for all my loved ones!

We had a fabulous holiday weekend! On Saturday, my mom and sister came up to visit Marco. We went to Gott’s for lunch, and had a great time visiting. For Independence Day, the lovely Gomers joined us for a cookout (I had a veggie burger).  Belle gave Marco a kiss on the cheek!! On their wedding day, I’ll remind her of this, ha ha. 

Here are a few adorable pics of my gorgeous baby boy:

Currently…

 Reading: The Story Sisters by Alice Hoffman

Listening: ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ by The Beatles on my Pandora station.

Tasting: Root Beer lollipop from See’s Candy! They are sooo good!

Adoring: Marco, pondering life…

I know, I know…it’s been awhile since I posted. My only excuse is that I’m a mother now. I hate that I have to pull that one out…but it’s all I’ve got!

Anywhoo, there really hasn’t been a whole lot to report. We started Marco on soy formula on Sunday afternoon to see if that helps his colic fits. Sunday night was still pretty awful, but last night he only cried for about an hour total, and slept most of the time in his vibrating seat. So…we’ll see? I’m using Similac Isomil Advanced Soy. We’ll see. I might go back to breast feeding for a little while.  Initially, I was attempting to breastfeed for at least 4 months, but this colic has kind of thrown all of our plans to the wind.

Most of the day I’m either napping, reading or doing some sort of household chore (laundry, taking out the garbage, sorting bills, etc.) I’m awake a good chunk of the night – feeding Marco, burping Marco, holding Marco, listening to Marco cry inconsolably…

I worry that this strain is going to put pressure on my relationship with Tim. It’s always been my main concern with having a child; I didn’t want anything to disturb the wonderful balance that Tim and I have found, and it’s something we’ve put a lot of work into.  I am working on getting my moods to a more even keel, with the help of some medication my doctor prescribed for the postpartum depression; Tim is everlastingly patient with me and I know it can’t be easy. He’s tired too, and having to work on top of everything else. Working out the sleep scheduling has been our main topic of conversation lately. I miss the days of talking for hours about things unrelated to baby. I miss going to Gillwood’s together every Sunday for brunch! I am anxious for Marco’s sleep and colic to get under control so we can do these things again.

Ugh! I have a dentist appointment tomorrow…not looking forward to it. My last visit, I was pregnant, so they couldn’t do any x-rays or fix the cavity that I had – but now I have not that excuse. I hope it’s not a painful day.  Though, I do always like the way my teeth feel after the deep cleaning.

Played around with the Hipstamatic iPhone app last night during Marco’s quiet period last night:

He’s so darn beautiful.

So our pediatrician confirmed a suspicion that Tim and I had formed last week…that our baby Marco has colic. UGH!!  He wakes up between 11pm and midnight every night, screaming and crying – and it continues for several hours. He’s not hungry, doesn’t need his diaper changed, is swaddled, etc… Finally, after his 3:30am feeding, he will calm down and eventually drift to sleep.  The vibrating infant seat sometimes calms him down, but it won’t comfort him enough to fall asleep. Even holding him doesn’t help him to fall asleep; he stops screaming, but he fusses every couple of minutes.

Further bad news, he might be allergic to dairy. This wouldn’t normally be a problem, except that I am vegetarian; I get a lot of my proteins from yogurts, milk and cheeses. If I cut out dairy, I’d be losing a huge chunk of my diet, and it would probably leave me sick.  I can either stop eating dairy for a week and see if it helps his tummy, or I can put him on soy formula for a week. I don’t know what to do.

Also, I am very tired. Tim went back to work on a limited basis (half-days) but it’s definitely cut into our rest/nap time. We look like zombies most of the time.

Good news: all baby weight is gone, and today I am wearing my size 26 Rich & Skinny boyfriend jeans. Oh, how I missed you…

First, a good piece of news: Marco is healthy, and almost back to his birth weight (he’s 8lbs, 5 oz). 

I’m at my pre-pregnancy weight. I think the weight loss happened too fast (breastfeeding is entirely to blame – I eat), with the result that I often feel kind of weak. 

WTF IS WITH PREGNANCY AND PARENTING BOOKS?! Every one seems designed to tell parents they are failures. I want to burn all the advice books I’ve read because they’ve either been unhelpful, incorrect in their assumptions, or downright ridiculous in their demands. I am not a machine, and I cannot respond to every whimper from Marco with patience and complete understanding of his current need. I WISH I COULD.

I also do not wish to be attached at the breast every single time he roots around with his little mouth. I’m not an idiot, I know sometimes he just wants to suck on something for comfort. I’m not a pacifier. Also, I can’t always sleep when he sleeps. Trust me, I do try to take a nap when he does, but it’s not very easy to sleep in the middle of the day for an hour or so, even when I feel exhausted. 

I don’t want to get into any discussions or arguments about motherhood. I don’t want to start a comment war, and in fact will delete any and all negative comments made in reference to this posting.  Life right now is very difficult, and I’m having a tough time adjusting to all the changes. As I’ve stated before, I knew that it would be. I am allowed, however, to wish things were different. I know it’s early days (he’s not yet 2 weeks old), and it will get harder before it gets easier. I’ll deal.

P.S. Tim helps me a tremendous amount, and is already the most fantastic father that ever existed. As noted before, I am seriously lucky to have him.

Couple of people asked where I got the black and white hospital gown you see me wearing in some of the labor pictures. Yes, I am THAT girly that I needed my own gown. It was so comfortable, and much nicer than the gowns given to you at the hospital!

I ordered it on Etsy from Forever My Baby; it’s the Pinwheel Flowers print, and it came with a green satin ribbon belt (you can choose your own color).